When it comes to faith (belief beyond "proof"), it is critically important to scrutinize every aspect of that faith. Faith is not a solution in and of itself. It isn't an answer, but a quest, a way of being, a way of knowing. This is exactly why it's so critical to scrutinize.

Faith will color your world, will affect your interpretation of your surroundings and in effect, your reality. Due to our singular viewpoint, reality isn't a universal truth. It is a highly subjective experience. If your faith cannot hold up to scrutiny, it's little more than a charade and ultimately a crutch and lullaby for those times when you should wake up, pay attention, think and decide for yourself.

Any faith worth believing should be agreeable to every aspect of your being: mind, body and spirit (and everything in between). It should be a source of inspiration, pleasure and comfort in those troubling times; a light that gives you a sense of purpose and meaning, rather than trudging through this wold without.

To continue the perversion that faith is unquestionable is to destroy one of the greatest gifts you've been given: your mind. Blind faith is one of the most exploited industries and greatest tragedies trespassed against humanity.

Don't be lulled asleep. Don't blindly follow anything. Always question, always seek, for in the seeking there is truth.

Lately I've been noticing what things/places/people "shut me down". It's very interesting. I can read strangers much easier than those that I'm "close" with. It's an odd experience, one that I wasn't so acutely aware of before. It seems difficult to not simply fall back into the patterns already established with people/places, even though those patterns are most disagreeable to me now. They were "safe" and comforting before, now I find these patterns to be a bit irritating.

I've noticed this sort of thing before too; I find myself to be so different from who/what I was that I don't understand how I could have even functioned in the old construct/concept of self and the world at large (“reality”). Those that knew the previous concept of me are now confused, because I'm just not quite the same. That expectation placed on me (whether only perceived by me or “real” -- what's the difference right?) makes me more inclined to meet the expectation rather than to break free of such nonsense. I find myself far less a slave to expectations, but it still seems to be oddly part of the equation. With friends, of course... I'm not really all that different so it makes those familiar paths all the easier to travel.

This sort of thinking certainly makes a radical shift in where/who I interact with very tempting as it would, according to my perception, help bring about the full and complete change that I'd like to see within myself, rather than getting stuck somewhere in in-between land. It seems easier to embark on a new journey in a new place with new people than to deny those that knew me as I was. Why should I feel the pressure of the expectations of who/what I used to think I was? Is this a factor of why change is difficult to accomplish & embrace?

The path of least resistance appears to be stagnation; to not change, to not show any evidence of change, but that's unacceptable. I am a changing, evolving creature, I reject stagnation for the shallow purpose of fulfilling others' expectations. How warped is the idea to submit to expectations that aren't likely real?

Some time ago (~3 years) I found this thought to be rather amusing:
He was disappointed, when he emerged from his cocoon, to discover that he was a moth.

I sometimes get the feeling that I need a bit more time in the cocoon in order to come back to all that I thought I knew afresh without falling back into the same habits and patterns that have been cemented over a lifetime (well, maybe not entirely... I'm not a stranger to such transitions). It seems I've gained what I can gain for now from here... learned what I needed and it feels like time to reinvent myself again, keeping the best and tossing the rest. It feels like time to move on, so I'll be listening... listening for clues as to what is the best way to accomplish such a feat.

I feel the need to tidy up things here a bit rather than leaving them in a mess... I'm not sure how fun this will be, but... it's not always about fun... I know that having some things wrapped up here would help to facilitate a fresh start. It's much harder than it would initially seem, to be faced with such boundless freedom.

May your delusions
    bring you happiness and
May your illusions
    bring you enlightenment

If you like it, borrow it. If you love it, steal it!

I was musing about why it is that I don't do what I want at all times. It seems a bit puzzling at first doesn't it? Why would I ever do anything that I don't want to do?

Then, at once, it struck me: I have always been able to do exactly what I want, when I want, and have done just that! Oh sure, I may have thought it was something I didn't want to do, but obviously it was what I wanted to do. And even now, everything I do is something I want to do.

This caused me to laugh out loud. How funny is that? I've had the illusion that I haven't done what I've wanted. Oh, woe is me! Nope... the joke's on me, and I think it's hilarious!

So I'm wearing my "Laugh All You Want" shirt today and I was thinking about how much thought and care went into these shirts (maybe not this one, but all the others and it's guilty by association). I thought: this shirt must have some real psychic energy in it. That seemed like a natural thought. It's gotta have a lot of psychic energy; that would explain why I'm having such interesting thoughts and insights today.

Then I realized: of course it would have some psychic energy if I assign it such power. Then I continued to think: what's with feeling the need to explain it? That's hilarious! It's the most natural thing in the world, so why would I need to justify the source of these thoughts?

It's like trying to justify a like or a dislike. Sure, everyone clings on to these reasons to like or dislike something. "I don't like American Cheese because it's not really cheese!" Is the justification of any importance? No! It's just a fact. What if I like American cheese because it's a cheese-food product? Does the equally factual reason truly justify the preference? No! The justification is irrelevent. It's a like or dislike. Simple as that.

So why do I feel the need to explain or justify how such thoughts come to me? Why do I feel the need to label the source of such thoughts? Intuition. Psychic energy (attributed to an object or place). Because most of us are taught that this is abnormal? unusual? special? weird? When, truly, the only thing that makes it special is the denial of it's existence and omnipresence in the first place.

Jesus moves into a nice midtown neighborhood. At first, the neighbors are uncertain of what to make of the situation. Is this the end of the world? Is he going to be pissed? Are we saved? What's the deal?

After a few weeks the angstipation calmed significantly and the whole neighborhood thought well of their new neighbor. Jesus was way cool. Everybody in the neighborhood liked Jesus. Property values were up. Life was good.

After a neighborhood party, some hippies, faded beyond clear judgment, decided to drop in and pay Jesus a visit. He was way cool. Everybody wanted to hang out with Jesus. He welcomed them in and offered them something to drink. They felt even more comfortable with Jesus and decided to politely offer him a bong hit.

Jesus kindly declined the offer and with a wink replied: "Follow me, my brethren, for blessed are those that know the way of the Spirit."

I think this video is brilliant. I love the tune and the lyrics. Joe Jackson Singing and William Shatner on the voice-over. Brilliant! I know his interpretation of the lyrics is a bit literal, but that only adds to the brilliance, given that it's about common people!

You know that feeling of falling in love. That wonderment, that rush of endorphins. That drug that you feel when you're getting to know someone, when all is new and amazing? The world seems less cruel and more accessible for the faint of heart. Everything seems possible.

The problem is that feeling is generally transient when it's source is not from within. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could love ourselves as much as we perceive another loves us? Wouldn't that change our very reality and experience on this plane(t)? Wouldn't that empower you to take on anything, come what may? Wouldn't that kind of love eminate out and draw others to you and help them understand that this sort of love for self is possible? Wouldn't that help guide your every action? Wouldn't that, in fact, change the world?